I disagree here ..women go through profound hormonal changes when they give birth and it literally rewires their brains. Not so much for dads. Women also simply have more negative emotions (anxiety etc) than men...this is well studied. Testosterone is a mood booster. Women are actually simply more likely to experience more worry, fear, a…
I disagree here ..women go through profound hormonal changes when they give birth and it literally rewires their brains. Not so much for dads. Women also simply have more negative emotions (anxiety etc) than men...this is well studied. Testosterone is a mood booster. Women are actually simply more likely to experience more worry, fear, and anxiety...on a biological basis bc of their hormones and wiring, when faced with the same circumstances as men, and it's not social conditioning. I used to go to a bodybuilding gym (I wasn't one but most there were), they all took testosterone, and the women besides growing huge muscles and getting lower voices would all talk about how different their emotions and interests and drives became.
Plus I'm just witnessed way too many women, like my sister, who were once free spirited, assertive, confident and independent turn into completely different people after they had a kid...worried, obsessive, anxious...and then revert back to their old personality once the kid was 17 or so. The dads personalities didn't change that much, they adjusted to the new lifestyle but didn't seem like almost different people.
You bring up some interesting points, and I will say maybe my last comment was too strictlI would love to see studies that show that this is 100% due to biological reasons and not at all due to social conditioning. Anxiety can absolutely worsen with social conditioning. We put so much pressure on mothers and far less on fathers, even in this modern era, there is no way that does not factor significantly into how people behave. As for the "brain rewiring" thing, the studies like the one in Nature suggest it does occur after preganancy but it only lasts for about 2 years. Look, I'm not suggesting that hormones don't play a role into our overall well-being, and women do experience fluctuations during their menstrual cycle, so yes, you do have a point. That being said, it sounds like your sister just wasn't as carefree as she outwardly seemed. I'm speaking from experience. People think I am very confident, assertive, etc. But I have experienced a lot of anxiety internally most of my life. Treatment has helped, but I know it is something I have to combat when it comes to raising kids.
Oh I'm definitely not arguing that NONE of it is social conditioning or social norms/pressure. Just that I think it's both and it's sort of a self reinforcing cycle.
In other words, for example, if women collectively decided they wanted to try to end this (and I do think most of the social pressure comes from other women or even their own moms) they would have to make a concerted effort to work somewhat against their "default" tendencies, in the same way one has to work against say their natural tendencies to overeat for example. I think for men they could much more easily decide to stop this behavior and it wouldn't be that hard for them, or require them to overcome biological/wired in tendencies.
The extra energy and enhanced mood/optimism that testosterone provides is really unfair and not talked about enough. You would have to give men some type of depressant that made them have 20% less energy or lower moods for them to experience what it's like for women. This all used to be common knowledge and the science supports it, but we've all somehow forgotten what is fairly obvious and common sense, bc we all want to believe in gender equality. I mean, you COULD pretty easily give men that experience, as it's what happens if they take estrogen.
Nature didn't make women the same as men because if it did, way too many babies and young kids would die (judging by the not-small portion of men who are perfectly fine with abandoning or neglecting their own kids, absent serious social pressure and penalties).
I disagree here ..women go through profound hormonal changes when they give birth and it literally rewires their brains. Not so much for dads. Women also simply have more negative emotions (anxiety etc) than men...this is well studied. Testosterone is a mood booster. Women are actually simply more likely to experience more worry, fear, and anxiety...on a biological basis bc of their hormones and wiring, when faced with the same circumstances as men, and it's not social conditioning. I used to go to a bodybuilding gym (I wasn't one but most there were), they all took testosterone, and the women besides growing huge muscles and getting lower voices would all talk about how different their emotions and interests and drives became.
Plus I'm just witnessed way too many women, like my sister, who were once free spirited, assertive, confident and independent turn into completely different people after they had a kid...worried, obsessive, anxious...and then revert back to their old personality once the kid was 17 or so. The dads personalities didn't change that much, they adjusted to the new lifestyle but didn't seem like almost different people.
You bring up some interesting points, and I will say maybe my last comment was too strictlI would love to see studies that show that this is 100% due to biological reasons and not at all due to social conditioning. Anxiety can absolutely worsen with social conditioning. We put so much pressure on mothers and far less on fathers, even in this modern era, there is no way that does not factor significantly into how people behave. As for the "brain rewiring" thing, the studies like the one in Nature suggest it does occur after preganancy but it only lasts for about 2 years. Look, I'm not suggesting that hormones don't play a role into our overall well-being, and women do experience fluctuations during their menstrual cycle, so yes, you do have a point. That being said, it sounds like your sister just wasn't as carefree as she outwardly seemed. I'm speaking from experience. People think I am very confident, assertive, etc. But I have experienced a lot of anxiety internally most of my life. Treatment has helped, but I know it is something I have to combat when it comes to raising kids.
Oh I'm definitely not arguing that NONE of it is social conditioning or social norms/pressure. Just that I think it's both and it's sort of a self reinforcing cycle.
In other words, for example, if women collectively decided they wanted to try to end this (and I do think most of the social pressure comes from other women or even their own moms) they would have to make a concerted effort to work somewhat against their "default" tendencies, in the same way one has to work against say their natural tendencies to overeat for example. I think for men they could much more easily decide to stop this behavior and it wouldn't be that hard for them, or require them to overcome biological/wired in tendencies.
The extra energy and enhanced mood/optimism that testosterone provides is really unfair and not talked about enough. You would have to give men some type of depressant that made them have 20% less energy or lower moods for them to experience what it's like for women. This all used to be common knowledge and the science supports it, but we've all somehow forgotten what is fairly obvious and common sense, bc we all want to believe in gender equality. I mean, you COULD pretty easily give men that experience, as it's what happens if they take estrogen.
Nature didn't make women the same as men because if it did, way too many babies and young kids would die (judging by the not-small portion of men who are perfectly fine with abandoning or neglecting their own kids, absent serious social pressure and penalties).