Not sure if you’ve seen Encanto (I have two kids so these are the only new movies I watch) but it deals with similar themes in a better way I think. The mother is also an oppressive figure but more effort is put into understanding her viewpoint and history, and she’s not a literal villain.
Another brilliant article. I agree with every word to the point where I was vigorously nodding along while reading. It’s ties into the millennial obsession with “self care” and “self love”, as if that isn’t all we fucking do.
I have intuited this in my job. I own a large company and people born and educated outside of Canada seem to succeed where the Canadian born and educated seem to fail. Success in a management role requires inter-collegial skills and it is a hard thing. We have created a generation of monsters and they are set to lose.
Something I find hilarious is that a lot of these self-help, self-actualization people also blame capitalism for their inability to do whatever their heart desires. They also, in words, support a lot communal versus individualistic ideals.
Which is like.... how do you think that works, Oliver? You think in the communist utopia you will be a self-actualized influencer mixologist, because the collective good will recognize that your passion for inventing new mixed drinks is more important than [insert any other cause]?
I want to note, that this is not just women that are like this. I hear plenty of men complaining about end-stage capitalism keeping their dreams down.
Agree with all this. I also think it doesn't ultimately make you happy. Even if you are Barack Obama or Pablo Escobar and manage to achieve everything you ever wanted, you will quickly adapt to that fact and find new things that you "want." Training yourself that you can only be happy by acquiring things, racking up achievements, and exerting control over the world just leads you to notice, in ever more acute detail, all the things you don't have, haven't achieved, and can't control.
That's the inner part. The external part is the Randian lack of common-good morality, as you explain.
And I think the two issues are tied together -- a person who can focus his efforts on family and society, with modest pleasures for himself, will on balance be happier than someone focused solely on I want, I want, I want....
This touches on something I've been thinking lately. In my opinion, much of our current political squabbles have an underlying thread that is rarely touched on and that is narcissism. Seems as though everyone expects everyone else to re-arrange their lives to ensure they do not suffer the slightest indiscretion. Likewise, there seems to be a dearth of humility these days with very few people even entertaining the notion that they might be wrong about something.
Really not sure where this came from. Maybe this is the culmination of the self esteem movement that began in the 80s/90s? Regardless, seems like everyone these days simply refuses to engage with anyone or anything that might dent their ego in any way.
Yep. “Ayn Rand shit, libertarian me-first propaganda laundered through a vaguely social justicey philosophy”. So true. I think the self-actualized, self-loving individual, constantly posting “self-love” selfies & tiktoks is pretty damn sad. It’s also ironic that the social media culture which claims to laud “individuality” is still 100% about attention & validation — you know, all those self-love accounts & e-girls who “self love” so hard that they post pictures of it to the tune of hundreds of thousands of followers.
And to be clear, I do wonder how much the algorithm feeds our culture now, versus the culture feeding the algorithm. Social media culture is first and foremost fed by the profit motives of its companies; so I’m not surprised by the weird doublethink of “self-love”, but try to get as many likes as possible!!
Yeah, self-actualization seems like pmc bootstrapping in the end. Where is our collective actualization? : ) Seriously though, I just get depressed at the near total lack of collective solutions to problems in popular media.
it's because we preached self-esteem instead of self-confidence. Gen-X parents (that's me) grew up with neither from our absent and distracted parents. We gained our own self-confidence thru our shenanigans. It seems like we wanted a softer easier life for our kids than we had, and so we preached self-esteem - it's ok as long as you feel it's ok. No different than participation trophy.
thanks to your readers, I have gained almost a dozen new subscribers, all from readers here! Please check out my platform. Thanks
Please could we have more of this sort of serious discussion of the themes underpinning family friendly movies (or books). Love it.
I loved the idea I got from the trailer, that menstruation could be made less taboo for young women and explored in a subtle Disney movie that worked in metaphor. Unfortunately the movie wasn't as subtle as the trailer at all.
Not sure if you’ve seen Encanto (I have two kids so these are the only new movies I watch) but it deals with similar themes in a better way I think. The mother is also an oppressive figure but more effort is put into understanding her viewpoint and history, and she’s not a literal villain.
Another brilliant article. I agree with every word to the point where I was vigorously nodding along while reading. It’s ties into the millennial obsession with “self care” and “self love”, as if that isn’t all we fucking do.
"yet piece" should be "yet another piece", I think? Loved it though.
Very solid piece, great clarity, thank you Freddie!
I have intuited this in my job. I own a large company and people born and educated outside of Canada seem to succeed where the Canadian born and educated seem to fail. Success in a management role requires inter-collegial skills and it is a hard thing. We have created a generation of monsters and they are set to lose.
Something I find hilarious is that a lot of these self-help, self-actualization people also blame capitalism for their inability to do whatever their heart desires. They also, in words, support a lot communal versus individualistic ideals.
Which is like.... how do you think that works, Oliver? You think in the communist utopia you will be a self-actualized influencer mixologist, because the collective good will recognize that your passion for inventing new mixed drinks is more important than [insert any other cause]?
I want to note, that this is not just women that are like this. I hear plenty of men complaining about end-stage capitalism keeping their dreams down.
Agree with all this. I also think it doesn't ultimately make you happy. Even if you are Barack Obama or Pablo Escobar and manage to achieve everything you ever wanted, you will quickly adapt to that fact and find new things that you "want." Training yourself that you can only be happy by acquiring things, racking up achievements, and exerting control over the world just leads you to notice, in ever more acute detail, all the things you don't have, haven't achieved, and can't control.
That's the inner part. The external part is the Randian lack of common-good morality, as you explain.
And I think the two issues are tied together -- a person who can focus his efforts on family and society, with modest pleasures for himself, will on balance be happier than someone focused solely on I want, I want, I want....
This touches on something I've been thinking lately. In my opinion, much of our current political squabbles have an underlying thread that is rarely touched on and that is narcissism. Seems as though everyone expects everyone else to re-arrange their lives to ensure they do not suffer the slightest indiscretion. Likewise, there seems to be a dearth of humility these days with very few people even entertaining the notion that they might be wrong about something.
Really not sure where this came from. Maybe this is the culmination of the self esteem movement that began in the 80s/90s? Regardless, seems like everyone these days simply refuses to engage with anyone or anything that might dent their ego in any way.
Yep. “Ayn Rand shit, libertarian me-first propaganda laundered through a vaguely social justicey philosophy”. So true. I think the self-actualized, self-loving individual, constantly posting “self-love” selfies & tiktoks is pretty damn sad. It’s also ironic that the social media culture which claims to laud “individuality” is still 100% about attention & validation — you know, all those self-love accounts & e-girls who “self love” so hard that they post pictures of it to the tune of hundreds of thousands of followers.
And to be clear, I do wonder how much the algorithm feeds our culture now, versus the culture feeding the algorithm. Social media culture is first and foremost fed by the profit motives of its companies; so I’m not surprised by the weird doublethink of “self-love”, but try to get as many likes as possible!!
“Being antisocial is self-care/social justice” is the new “taxation is theft”?
Yeah, self-actualization seems like pmc bootstrapping in the end. Where is our collective actualization? : ) Seriously though, I just get depressed at the near total lack of collective solutions to problems in popular media.
it's because we preached self-esteem instead of self-confidence. Gen-X parents (that's me) grew up with neither from our absent and distracted parents. We gained our own self-confidence thru our shenanigans. It seems like we wanted a softer easier life for our kids than we had, and so we preached self-esteem - it's ok as long as you feel it's ok. No different than participation trophy.
thanks to your readers, I have gained almost a dozen new subscribers, all from readers here! Please check out my platform. Thanks
Ric
Please could we have more of this sort of serious discussion of the themes underpinning family friendly movies (or books). Love it.
I loved the idea I got from the trailer, that menstruation could be made less taboo for young women and explored in a subtle Disney movie that worked in metaphor. Unfortunately the movie wasn't as subtle as the trailer at all.