I'm 38 and was never formally diagnosed with ADHD or anything until a few years ago, when tiktok began serving me all the ADHD content, I was like "holy shit is this not normal?" - and it was a lot of stuff like what you describe: standing in the kitchen, mal-adaptive work patterns (procrastination, etc), inability to do X even though I …
I'm 38 and was never formally diagnosed with ADHD or anything until a few years ago, when tiktok began serving me all the ADHD content, I was like "holy shit is this not normal?" - and it was a lot of stuff like what you describe: standing in the kitchen, mal-adaptive work patterns (procrastination, etc), inability to do X even though I need to do X, etc. I've often felt like these traits were annoying but pretty common, so I like never thought anything of it. I just thought I sucked at prioritization or something (which is true)
Went to a psych who had been suggesting for years I might have ADHD (in addition to depression) and got an Rx for Vyvanse. Totally changed the way I can focus during the work day and my ability to do tasks I don't want to do literally went up 100x. Especially true in my new "work from home all the time and also do 100% of the parenting" post-covid post-divorce life.
Since then I've had an off an on relationship with the drug. I feel like it's a cheat in life and there is some tradeoff I haven't learned yet, like I'm going to get Alzheimers at 55 or something. Selling my soul at the crossroads in order to make better spreadsheets...
I think if prescription stimulants help you to live a more productive life, by god, you should take them without guilt - who cares if it's a cheat in life? When we are sick, we take medicine to make it better. Your character doesn't enter into it.
I went through basically this exact same experience minus the divorce and the parenting. I did eventually discover the tradeoff: I started feeling awful, like completely miserable, as soon as the drugs wore off. Eventually I had the same horrible feeling when I first woke up in the morning before I'd taken them. I was angry at everyone, I wanted to burst into tears, and I had a throbbing hangover-style headache. I barely had enough motivation to brush my teeth and get dressed, let alone do anything else, until the meds had kicked in. In the end I stopped taking them and I felt much better after a couple weeks. At this point, two years later, I don't believe I've ever had ADHD. I did, however, have a very unhealthy lifestyle involving way too much alcohol, way too little sleep, a terrible diet, an addiction to social media, and an inability to cope with stress in a healthy way. When I finally accepted that those things weren't just a manifestation of undiagnosed ADHD - after over a year of taking adderall daily - I forced myself to make the more difficult incremental changes that have actually durably improved my life. I am in a much better place today.
I'm not saying that this is what will happen to you, but for me personally the adult ADHD diagnosis felt like a solution to all my problems and the way I felt on medication initially confirmed that belief. If I gained anything from the experience it was acceptance that there was no single disorder that explained my deeply unhealthy life and no single pill that could fix it in the long term.
I know a massive number of people who've been diagnosed with ADHD as adults in the past three years and I often wonder how many are headed down the same path I was. I hope they find a similarly positive resolution even if ADHD doesn't turn out to be the answer.
I'm 38 and was never formally diagnosed with ADHD or anything until a few years ago, when tiktok began serving me all the ADHD content, I was like "holy shit is this not normal?" - and it was a lot of stuff like what you describe: standing in the kitchen, mal-adaptive work patterns (procrastination, etc), inability to do X even though I need to do X, etc. I've often felt like these traits were annoying but pretty common, so I like never thought anything of it. I just thought I sucked at prioritization or something (which is true)
Went to a psych who had been suggesting for years I might have ADHD (in addition to depression) and got an Rx for Vyvanse. Totally changed the way I can focus during the work day and my ability to do tasks I don't want to do literally went up 100x. Especially true in my new "work from home all the time and also do 100% of the parenting" post-covid post-divorce life.
Since then I've had an off an on relationship with the drug. I feel like it's a cheat in life and there is some tradeoff I haven't learned yet, like I'm going to get Alzheimers at 55 or something. Selling my soul at the crossroads in order to make better spreadsheets...
This is a great point
I think if prescription stimulants help you to live a more productive life, by god, you should take them without guilt - who cares if it's a cheat in life? When we are sick, we take medicine to make it better. Your character doesn't enter into it.
I went through basically this exact same experience minus the divorce and the parenting. I did eventually discover the tradeoff: I started feeling awful, like completely miserable, as soon as the drugs wore off. Eventually I had the same horrible feeling when I first woke up in the morning before I'd taken them. I was angry at everyone, I wanted to burst into tears, and I had a throbbing hangover-style headache. I barely had enough motivation to brush my teeth and get dressed, let alone do anything else, until the meds had kicked in. In the end I stopped taking them and I felt much better after a couple weeks. At this point, two years later, I don't believe I've ever had ADHD. I did, however, have a very unhealthy lifestyle involving way too much alcohol, way too little sleep, a terrible diet, an addiction to social media, and an inability to cope with stress in a healthy way. When I finally accepted that those things weren't just a manifestation of undiagnosed ADHD - after over a year of taking adderall daily - I forced myself to make the more difficult incremental changes that have actually durably improved my life. I am in a much better place today.
I'm not saying that this is what will happen to you, but for me personally the adult ADHD diagnosis felt like a solution to all my problems and the way I felt on medication initially confirmed that belief. If I gained anything from the experience it was acceptance that there was no single disorder that explained my deeply unhealthy life and no single pill that could fix it in the long term.
I know a massive number of people who've been diagnosed with ADHD as adults in the past three years and I often wonder how many are headed down the same path I was. I hope they find a similarly positive resolution even if ADHD doesn't turn out to be the answer.