I grew up in the 80s and 90s in suburban Detroit. In my community, if you didn’t make the team, your parents said something like “better luck next time.” Nobody got taken to the movies.
I grew up in the 80s and 90s in suburban Detroit. In my community, if you didn’t make the team, your parents said something like “better luck next time.” Nobody got taken to the movies.
Hmm. I don’t find “better luck next time” to be especially helpful treatment for a kid or an adult. If you wouldn’t be so callous as to say that to a friend who just lost a big promotion, why promote it as a way to treat a child?
As much as I think most helicopter parenting is nuts, pointlessly hard ass parenting is hardly the solution.
I feel exactly the same. A parent’s role is both provide comfort and care (so the child feels they have a safe and secure starting point)
and to impart the tools and skills and habits of character that can allow a child to succeed. None of that requires emotional abuse or being a hard ass or any of that bullshit.
Hard ass? Yikes. Emotional abuse? Are you kidding me? The catastrophizing of every day failures is abuse. Letting your kid know by your reaction that whether or not they got on varsity pom pom isn’t going to matter in a few years is how you teach them to roll with the punches.
It’s not catastrophizing. It’s teaching kids how to deal with failure without the parent being an insensitive asshole. If you wouldn’t say “better luck next time” to a friend dealing with a big disappointment, don’t do it to your kid.
My parents were never deliberately mean and heartless but they also managed to teach me disappointment is part of life.
I grew up in the 80s and 90s in suburban Detroit. In my community, if you didn’t make the team, your parents said something like “better luck next time.” Nobody got taken to the movies.
Hmm. I don’t find “better luck next time” to be especially helpful treatment for a kid or an adult. If you wouldn’t be so callous as to say that to a friend who just lost a big promotion, why promote it as a way to treat a child?
As much as I think most helicopter parenting is nuts, pointlessly hard ass parenting is hardly the solution.
I feel exactly the same. A parent’s role is both provide comfort and care (so the child feels they have a safe and secure starting point)
and to impart the tools and skills and habits of character that can allow a child to succeed. None of that requires emotional abuse or being a hard ass or any of that bullshit.
Hard ass? Yikes. Emotional abuse? Are you kidding me? The catastrophizing of every day failures is abuse. Letting your kid know by your reaction that whether or not they got on varsity pom pom isn’t going to matter in a few years is how you teach them to roll with the punches.
It’s not catastrophizing. It’s teaching kids how to deal with failure without the parent being an insensitive asshole. If you wouldn’t say “better luck next time” to a friend dealing with a big disappointment, don’t do it to your kid.
My parents were never deliberately mean and heartless but they also managed to teach me disappointment is part of life.
I grew up in 80s and 90s suburban Detroit too (Birmingham) and pretty much everyone “made the team”. Never saw any “better luck next time” attitudes.