I'm interested in the implicit difference in what Freddie talks about between "helicopter parenting" and other forms of extremely overbearing parenting. When I grew up I associated it with conservative and especially fundamentalist parents, motivated by (1) worrying constantly about their kid's moral status and (2) worrying about how the…
I'm interested in the implicit difference in what Freddie talks about between "helicopter parenting" and other forms of extremely overbearing parenting. When I grew up I associated it with conservative and especially fundamentalist parents, motivated by (1) worrying constantly about their kid's moral status and (2) worrying about how they looked to other churchgoers. I remember a fifteen-year-old girl on my block whose parents yanked her out of public school and put her in a Baptist private school mid-year because she'd been caught dating. Other kids I knew weren't allowed to have bedroom doors because their parents' version of Christianity taught that kids would use privacy only for sin. Pastors' kids had it the worst.
I recognize how this is different from what Freddie's describing - it's authoritarian rather than killing with kindness. But I am interested in how very progressive parents ended up similarly overbearing. (I also do not think this is limited to very progressive parents - I know plenty of normies who have those GPS trackers on their phones and follow their kids' movements from work all day.)
I wonder if it's because, like fundamentalists whose life is their church, people who have strong ideological alignment with their social circles also worry about their standing with the other parents in that community.
I grew up in a very conservative Church, too (Lutheran Church Missouri Synod.). My mom was/is actually pretty cool, though. I think she has always been secure enough in her own beliefs and her ability to pass them on that when we were kids she had no problem raising us in a ideologically diverse neighborhood and sending us to public school. When it came to friends who didn't share our lifestyle (she was an interior designer so there were *a lot* of gay men in my childhood LOL) she was just sort of like "its a free country, everyone does their thing."
And they were the least helicopter-y parents ever. My childhood was delightful.
I think I have a very secure relationship with religion because of this.
I'm interested in the implicit difference in what Freddie talks about between "helicopter parenting" and other forms of extremely overbearing parenting. When I grew up I associated it with conservative and especially fundamentalist parents, motivated by (1) worrying constantly about their kid's moral status and (2) worrying about how they looked to other churchgoers. I remember a fifteen-year-old girl on my block whose parents yanked her out of public school and put her in a Baptist private school mid-year because she'd been caught dating. Other kids I knew weren't allowed to have bedroom doors because their parents' version of Christianity taught that kids would use privacy only for sin. Pastors' kids had it the worst.
I recognize how this is different from what Freddie's describing - it's authoritarian rather than killing with kindness. But I am interested in how very progressive parents ended up similarly overbearing. (I also do not think this is limited to very progressive parents - I know plenty of normies who have those GPS trackers on their phones and follow their kids' movements from work all day.)
I wonder if it's because, like fundamentalists whose life is their church, people who have strong ideological alignment with their social circles also worry about their standing with the other parents in that community.
I think your last paragraph nails it. I think there is also an element of insecurity.
Strong Outward Ideological Commitments + insecurity = authoritarianism.
I grew up in a very conservative Church, too (Lutheran Church Missouri Synod.). My mom was/is actually pretty cool, though. I think she has always been secure enough in her own beliefs and her ability to pass them on that when we were kids she had no problem raising us in a ideologically diverse neighborhood and sending us to public school. When it came to friends who didn't share our lifestyle (she was an interior designer so there were *a lot* of gay men in my childhood LOL) she was just sort of like "its a free country, everyone does their thing."
And they were the least helicopter-y parents ever. My childhood was delightful.
I think I have a very secure relationship with religion because of this.