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Always Adblock's avatar

I too experience it as something clarifying. I've seen people describe depression as a fog, but that's not quite it to me; sure, you can somehow abjure it into a dissipate smoke if you frantically wave your arms through it to try to live a normal life, to order a coffee, to smirk at a friend's joke, to show up at work on time. But the second you stop that mad flailing, it's back. Thump. It's a solid state again. It's a big red stop sign across the world, no matter which way you turn. It's bubbling in your guts and twitching in your tendons and hammering your head.

Like yours, mine comes and goes, less severe than in the past but certainly more frequent. Guilt accrues with age, I find. Worthlessness isn't mitigated by accomplishment or kisses. Sadness isn't increased by events. It's all inside, all of it.

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Frank Lee's avatar

There is certainly more to depression than can be easily explained and treated; but in my experience spending some significant time outside in natural areas where there are few people but there are beautiful and appealing landscapes and vistas… it can help do a “reset”. I think it is both calmingly therapeutic and helps to re-level perspectives about the world and existence/life. There are some theories that the disconnection of people from the land is at least partially contributing to depression and other mental health challenges. Maybe tech has put more people over the line that might otherwise function okay as a city dweller.

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