41 Comments

Kudos to you for resisting the lure of the "mental illness memoir" route. There are multiple perverse incentives to go that route - not only financial ones, but the clapbacks that sadly come with this genre ("that Freddie - he's so brave!"). It's tough to fault most authors for taking advantage of them. Everyone's gotta make a living, right?

That you took the time to think about it in this depth and make a choice that favors both honesty (and the readers) speaks well of you as both a writer, and a person.

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Telling someone they're "brave" for telling the story of their life is just admitting how much you and others plan on judging them negatively for it. Some real "what a bold fashion choice, I could never pull it off" shit. Excepting people who had the same experience and know what takes to peer backward. If someone suggests your confessional is evidence of bravery, play dumb and ask them why.

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I'm interested in whether you write better when you're manic.

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author

No. I write more. Eventually it gets to the point of being unreadable.

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Coming from a place of near-zero knowledge about the publication process, I'm interested in why it takes 18-ish months for a novel to be published. From your post, it sounds like you've finished the writing part, and it's going to take that whole time to edit/print/ship.

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author

This is one of the great mysteries of the universe. But I can tell you that it's not an especially long time to publication for a novel.

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Mar 3·edited Mar 3

Publishers can have a book on the shelves in a month when they are motivated. There's 200 excuses why they don't, but it always comes down to most books don't make money so the publisher doesn't spend any to expedite the process.

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Congratulations on the sale, and for branching out into fiction. Being in the middle of a writing workshop myself, it is so hard to get yourself to stretch and grow outside of your comfort zone, and being behind the woodshed, as you say, can be an incredibly frustrating place to be. Will be looking forward to preordering this.

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Congratulations! I look forward to reading it, and will resist asking the sort of questions (which mental illness, reason for choice of female protagonist, etc.) that I'll either find in book, or you'll get asked in infinite podcast interviews.

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Mar 3Liked by Freddie deBoer

Yay! Excited to read this Freddie!!!

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author

you'll be the first to get an ARC!

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dude i am so excited for this! i honestly think your fiction/literary nonfiction is your best work and i'm really excited to read it in long form

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Congratulations! Writing and publishing a novel is MAJOR.

And may I say as a dabbler in writing fiction & nonfiction myself, you genuinely _amaze_ me. You write so prolifically & so well! There's very rarely a sharp or a flat in the words you pour out——and that's why I upped to a paid subscription.: I don't always agree with your opinions, but I am in absolute awe of your ability to articulate them.

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Congrats, man. Will read.

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I was hoping a little that "why I won't write a mental illness memoir" was going to be followed with "and why I wrote a novel instead". I'm not much of a novel reader, and I'll admit I'm surprised to hear that a novel is what you were writing. The first paragraphs suggest that the novel will do what the memoir couldn't; I'd be interested to hear about that in more detail.

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deletedMar 3
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I appreciate the sentiment. The thing is it's just not much of a deprivation; I just don't happen to enjoy novels that much. When it comes to fiction, I get more enjoyment out of it in other media like longform TV and video games. Or when I want to be elevated by something more highbrow than those, I spend lots of time reading philosophy.

I don't have anything against novels, I've gotten plenty out of them in the past, and I'm delighted that others love them. They're just not how I usually prefer to spend my own time.

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author

I'm a big fiction reader; I enjoyed writing it a great deal; I want to relay a vision of mental illness that doesn't run through the filter of romanticization or disability studies; I'm counting the days until Hollywood options it for the big bucks.

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Congrats on the publishing contract! Well done! I’m excited to read your novel and appreciate your explanation of why you didn’t write a memoir. (I as well don’t like to discuss my therapy and circumstances even with my family and friends).

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I look forward to reading it. I agree with your decision on the memoir - most of my manic episodes ended like waking up from a 3 day bender with no memory of what happened and a joyous post-episodic experience of finding out what I had done. Even if you could remember and make it interesting, no one should have to relive those events again, even for profit.

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“ If I wrote a mental illness memoir that was true, it wouldn’t be interesting, and if it was interesting, it wouldn’t be true.”

Reminds me a bit of what Tim O’Brien said about how to tell a true war story in The Things They Carried.

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It’s interesting that you ran into the same problem writing about mental illness that Tim O’Brien ran into writing about his war- the truth is banal and does not convey the experience

His solution in *The Things They Carried* was to basically make shit up into a nice, audience friendly narrative and then explicitly spell out that he’s lying, that the truth evades description, that the interesting lies are the closest he can get to getting the reader into his own head.

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congrats, and i can’t wait to read it.

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Mar 3·edited Mar 3

Freddie, congratulations on the contract. Wondering what you think of the "autoimmune psychosis" idea, which got a huge boost from the mental illness memoir Brain on Fire (later a movie too). A neurohospitalist told me about the "Brain on Fire effect", in which families of people with first-episode psychosis urge docs to look for any hint of inflammation, because the long-term prospects for someone with autoimmune encephalitis may be better than those for someone with schizophrenia. Lately -- as a sign of their specialty's popularity -- experts on AE have been publishing reviews warning of misdiagnosis. The question isn't whether autoimmune psychosis can happen. It can. But the issue is how often, and is it worth checking everyone with first-episode psychosis?

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