Newborns wake up to feed every couple of hours, and crucially, many will not sleep alone. They cry unless someone holds them. This would be fine if we could curl up with our babies and co-sleep, but NOPE that’s unsafe because of SIDS.
If you’re breastfeeding, you have to nurse or pump every few hours. And even if you’re not, you can easil…
Newborns wake up to feed every couple of hours, and crucially, many will not sleep alone. They cry unless someone holds them. This would be fine if we could curl up with our babies and co-sleep, but NOPE that’s unsafe because of SIDS.
If you’re breastfeeding, you have to nurse or pump every few hours. And even if you’re not, you can easily spend 24 hours trying and failing to get the baby to sleep on his own. If your baby isn’t a good sleeper, and you don’t have someone who can take shifts, you’re fucked. My spouse only got one week of leave, so we had to split the night in half.
In theory, I could have hired someone. I was committed to breastfeeding, so I didn’t. Also it would have been emotionally difficult when I knew my baby was crying for me. It sounds easy to hire someone, but it means not breastfeeding and spending a lot of money (my son didn't start sleeping on his own until 5 months--not through the night, just on his own at all.)
>It sounds easy to hire someone, but it means not breastfeeding and spending a lot of money...
That actually...sounds pretty easy. I mean, it's costly, but I think a reasonable person would do a lot to avoid chronic sleep deprivation. Because sleep deprivation is just horrible—it lowers your IQ, feels terrible, it can trigger or worsen mental illness and it's dangerous if you ever need to drive or make important decisions. I've heard the cost of a night nurse estimated at 800/week, and I'd pay that.
But I also would never tolerate a partner who took only one week of leave! So sorry you had to deal with that level of disengagement.
Newborns wake up to feed every couple of hours, and crucially, many will not sleep alone. They cry unless someone holds them. This would be fine if we could curl up with our babies and co-sleep, but NOPE that’s unsafe because of SIDS.
If you’re breastfeeding, you have to nurse or pump every few hours. And even if you’re not, you can easily spend 24 hours trying and failing to get the baby to sleep on his own. If your baby isn’t a good sleeper, and you don’t have someone who can take shifts, you’re fucked. My spouse only got one week of leave, so we had to split the night in half.
In theory, I could have hired someone. I was committed to breastfeeding, so I didn’t. Also it would have been emotionally difficult when I knew my baby was crying for me. It sounds easy to hire someone, but it means not breastfeeding and spending a lot of money (my son didn't start sleeping on his own until 5 months--not through the night, just on his own at all.)
>It sounds easy to hire someone, but it means not breastfeeding and spending a lot of money...
That actually...sounds pretty easy. I mean, it's costly, but I think a reasonable person would do a lot to avoid chronic sleep deprivation. Because sleep deprivation is just horrible—it lowers your IQ, feels terrible, it can trigger or worsen mental illness and it's dangerous if you ever need to drive or make important decisions. I've heard the cost of a night nurse estimated at 800/week, and I'd pay that.
But I also would never tolerate a partner who took only one week of leave! So sorry you had to deal with that level of disengagement.