I don’t know if I love using the word “recovery” for what I’ve been up to, as I don’t want to collapse the distinction between addiction and mental illness. (But if they handed out those AA chips, I’d happily take one.) “In treatment” is probably more accurate, but it also lacks a bit of the sense of positive momentum that I’m trying to express. In any event - five years ago today I finally fully committed to addressing my bipolar disorder.
As someone who is an alcoholic but has someone close to him who is bipolar I think the lines are actually not that far apart. At the very least, many of the tools that are necessary to live with such conditions are similar. Congratulations on your five years (hands chip). The point when people “hit bottom“ can vary dramatically and recognizing that you need to put the shovel down and only you can do it is not that easy. “Leaning into your illness“ whether it is alcoholism or mental illness is not the answer… recognizing it as an illness that can be ameliorated is.
And that has transformed the last three weeks of my life! So eternal thanks to youfor highlighting your own physical and mental health problems, and your honesty about your own struggles, and thankyou for helping me with mine!
Thank you so much for this, Freddie! I love your honesty about your recovery, and I am certain that what you have shared about it is making a difference in the lives of many people facing mental illness. Right now my brilliant young adult son, who has several neuropsychiatric disorders and who was supposed to be starting graduate school in applied linguistics this week, is currently in a psychiatric hospital as a result of a bad reaction to doxycycline. I'm going to read him your piece when he calls today to provide him with hope and encouragement.
Hey Freddie, well done. I appreciate the clarity, honesty, and generosity you always put into writing about this part of your life. And I couldn't agree more with your point about self-flagellation; when we fuck up, we do what we can to make amends and then get on with it, hoping to try to add some to the other side of the ledger over the long haul in some way. Crawling on my "knees through the desert for a hundred miles, repenting" never did anyone any good. Best to you.
My heart filled with genuine love and happiness reading this. It is just such a monumental thing to save oneself. The only way out was through, and you made it through. So happy you're here with us, Freddie.
Bravo! I may simply be a daily reader, but I suspect I speak for many of us: we celebrate your amazing achievement of thriving, of getting off the mat, and making a bunch of us think a little harder every day.
Not sure how much it matters from a complete stranger, but I'm happy for you, and even feel a little proud. You've earned whatever self-respect you've managed to claw back into your life these past few years. Enjoy it.
I don’t find it abstract to think about the ways in which obsequiousness can eventually become for yourself. I appreciate and resonate with that enormously.
When obsequiousness becomes familiar you can collude with yourself to stop growing. To live life according to a script that says you always yield to the forces around you. I know it all too well myself.
So, I appreciate your frankness Freddie 💓 Good luck with whatever this is, recovery or whatever it’s better called.
Yay Freddie! Congrats!!
Best wishes and good "luck" in future.
Thank you for this. Very much needed.
A beautiful affirmation. Thank you.
As someone who is an alcoholic but has someone close to him who is bipolar I think the lines are actually not that far apart. At the very least, many of the tools that are necessary to live with such conditions are similar. Congratulations on your five years (hands chip). The point when people “hit bottom“ can vary dramatically and recognizing that you need to put the shovel down and only you can do it is not that easy. “Leaning into your illness“ whether it is alcoholism or mental illness is not the answer… recognizing it as an illness that can be ameliorated is.
Thanks to you, I discovered this:
https://drinkingmywaysober.substack.com/
And that has transformed the last three weeks of my life! So eternal thanks to youfor highlighting your own physical and mental health problems, and your honesty about your own struggles, and thankyou for helping me with mine!
Thank you so much for this, Freddie! I love your honesty about your recovery, and I am certain that what you have shared about it is making a difference in the lives of many people facing mental illness. Right now my brilliant young adult son, who has several neuropsychiatric disorders and who was supposed to be starting graduate school in applied linguistics this week, is currently in a psychiatric hospital as a result of a bad reaction to doxycycline. I'm going to read him your piece when he calls today to provide him with hope and encouragement.
Hey Freddie, well done. I appreciate the clarity, honesty, and generosity you always put into writing about this part of your life. And I couldn't agree more with your point about self-flagellation; when we fuck up, we do what we can to make amends and then get on with it, hoping to try to add some to the other side of the ledger over the long haul in some way. Crawling on my "knees through the desert for a hundred miles, repenting" never did anyone any good. Best to you.
My heart filled with genuine love and happiness reading this. It is just such a monumental thing to save oneself. The only way out was through, and you made it through. So happy you're here with us, Freddie.
Bravo! I may simply be a daily reader, but I suspect I speak for many of us: we celebrate your amazing achievement of thriving, of getting off the mat, and making a bunch of us think a little harder every day.
Congratulations to you!
Katie Hall
Congrats and well done Freddie.
Not sure how much it matters from a complete stranger, but I'm happy for you, and even feel a little proud. You've earned whatever self-respect you've managed to claw back into your life these past few years. Enjoy it.
Congratulations and thank you for the useful, powerful words.
Good job dude. None of it sounds easy, but clearly it has all paid off.
I don’t find it abstract to think about the ways in which obsequiousness can eventually become for yourself. I appreciate and resonate with that enormously.
When obsequiousness becomes familiar you can collude with yourself to stop growing. To live life according to a script that says you always yield to the forces around you. I know it all too well myself.
So, I appreciate your frankness Freddie 💓 Good luck with whatever this is, recovery or whatever it’s better called.