This is the second post in (the first annual?) Mental Illness Week at freddiedeboer.substack.com. I thought that this Reddit post was striking and worth sharing, so I sought and have received permission to post it in full. Regardless of any internet-level understanding or resentment, the millennial/zoomer understanding of mental health is completely destroying people's lives.
"A 19-year-old on TikTok might look at her peers and their talk of borderline personality disorder and see glamour and a kind of pain that society might recognize."
This is to understand what causes ROGD. It's not a wild conspiracy theory.
Not sure if you ever read The Last Psychiatrist (this is from his secondary blog), but this one is so good I've lost track of how many people I've sent it to who both struggle with their own mental health but sense that there is something dangerous in the modern / millennial / woke mindset around mental health.
Yes and among the upper middle classes a lot of it started in childhood. I have teenagers now but starting when they were in preschool, the race for the "right" diagnosis was everywhere. "My 4yr old has anxiety so I have to stay with him all day at school and he needs to bring four stuffed animals and a lego castle for comfort." "Sammy has visual processing disorder so he needs extra time on tests," "Katy just can't control her tantrums, she has ODD, it isn't her fault." My friend, who is a former preschool teacher, told me that at one point she had 20% of her class with some kind of ASD diagnosis and another 20% with ADHD.
So when you're little and your diagnosis makes you special, why not compound that as you grow?
I see this a lot with work. Maybe it's not mental health or burnout or a toxic environment or not being seen or systemic ____ism. Maybe work kinda sucks, and we should try to improve that
If we can try and pre-emptively move the discourse away from "the kids fucked everything up" that would be great. Not that Freddie is saying that, the reddit post maybe a little, and the general impulse of commenters in general to turn the comment section into a list of anecdotes.
Because really its a backlash right? We (my generation, people in their 30s now) all grew up around adults who famously were not taught how to process their feelings or do basic maintenance on their emotional processes and it was not a fun time. Probably most of those people don't meet the standard for mentally ill, but we have yet invent a set of guidelines for taking care of your mental health and expressing your emotional weaknesses that falls short of diagnosable event. So the kids who don't want to grow up like their parents bottling everything up claim perpetual diagnosable events.
I guess back in the day this is what going to Church was supposed to be for. You could talk about your problems in small-group, if things were really bad you could confess your worries to a pastor and get some guidance, some community support, some prayer. But the flipside of that was a lot of moral hypocrisy and arbitrary ostracization, plus you had to get up early on Sunday. So that's gone, now everyone is seeking communal support systems and the only way they know to ask for them is by claiming to be bi-polar, whether they are or not. I don't have a good solution to this.
There appear to be plenty of good studies proving an increase in mental health diagnosis of young people. If I remember correct it is skewed toward female and those that claim to be left of liberal.
My natural father was/is paranoid and slightly schizophrenic. It hit him in his 20s and he was homeless for 40 years because of it.
However, I have a 20-something nephew that started having psychotic episodes. In his case his parents and I are absolutely certain that his problems are at least exacerbated by his excessive cannabis consumption. Other young men I know have similar issues.
And now we have a critical theory fake scholarship mythology that rejects objective truth, science and history. And Zuckerberg wants us all to live in the Metaverse.
Seems to be that there are multiple reasons we are seeing more mental health challenges in people. Ironic that in my early computer career we talked about too much CRT time causing brain problems.
I was appalled by how often and casually the recent former Slate Dear Prudence (Ortberg) counseled people to cut off their families and loved ones over perceived failures to validate woke-identity-x.
I wonder how much the apparently increasing professional leniency as to what constitutes mental illness might contribute.
I have been formally diagnosed with autism. I am a mostly pretty normal adult who owns her own house, holds down a well-paying job, and takes care of her family/friends. My autism is confined to clumsiness, chronically missing social cues, and an intense sensitivity to certain stimuli. I worked as a nanny throughout college, and one of the boys I took care of was also autistic. His autism manifested as an inability to learn language, almost no control of fine motor skills, and mental retardation. Giving these conditions the same name just seems...wrong.
Turning it into an identity then allows people to 'steal' the agony of the more-afflicted. It's no different than a woman who's been in the US her whole life claiming oppression because little girls are sold into marriage in other countries, or a wealthy Indian immigrant claiming oppression because Africans were enslaved in the US in the past. Mental illness is crippling at its extremes, and when "I get a little nervous in crowds" and "I haven't left my house in twelve years because I'm afraid I'll get trampled" are given the same name, it invites exaggeration.
"Mental health is not your fault, but it is your responsibility" is the mantra of Marcus Parks over at the Last Podcast on the Left. Social media culture doesn't necessarily award responsibility though, instead everyone needs to pretend to be unique. In some ways the "responsibility free" approach to mental health may even be a reaction to how large the world feels these days. The only way to stand out is to be extreme.
To be all too speculative, I imagine everyone has a greater or lesser part of Bartleby the Scrivener in them, an inner voice whispering "I prefer not to." This refusal, being neither useful in living in nor changing society, is not something that can be justified, hence why Bartleby is so alien, unless of course you can replace "I prefer not to" with "I cannot," which is precisely what a (self-)diagnosis permits.
Losers teaching young people how to lose. Sincerely, beware, your progeny is being miseducated, they could be destroyed by this well meaning gibberish. The Gnosticism of postmodern relativism is a virus, a bug and junior is in grave danger. Maybe you are as well, maybe losing has been put in you.
I think there is also something about the culture of social justice that like, reifies and validates a world view and behaviors that are antithetical to stable mental health. Perceiving every slight as a catastrophic and phobic event representative of a hostile world, etc.
David Burns wrote the most famous and arguably best self help book on CBT, “Feeling Good”. He has a new one out called “Feeling Great”.
It’s basically the same old CBT stuff, and still written by a very goofy and uncool guy. The main new idea is that before trying to dismantle your cognitive distortions, you’re now supposed to list and think very clearly about all the ways that your distorted beliefs and symptoms are beneficial to you and reflect positive aspects of yourself. Then, you consciously choose whether and how much to leave these things behind.
I find it is a powerful technique for anyone, and likely particularly helpful for people stuck in the type of trap described in this post. Highly recommend “Feeling Great” by David Burns.
This reminds me of the recent CAP survey of LGBTQ adults that found abysmal mental health among younger people. For example:
“82 percent of Gen Z [queer] respondents reported feeling so sad that nothing could cheer them up to some degree in January 2020, compared with 64 percent of Millennials, 46 percent of Gen X, and 30 percent of Baby Boomers.”
Younger people consider themselves more enlightened on these topics, but the mentality described in the Reddit post (which fits my observations) is toxic and terrible for mental health.
They tell each other the whole world must accommodate their disorders—they can’t be expected to function at work, to adhere to social norms, etc. and anyone who disagrees is an oppressor. I really worry for them in the real world, where “likes” don’t pay the rent.
"A 19-year-old on TikTok might look at her peers and their talk of borderline personality disorder and see glamour and a kind of pain that society might recognize."
This is to understand what causes ROGD. It's not a wild conspiracy theory.
The definitive essay on this topic: https://hotelconcierge.tumblr.com/post/116790700524/we-need-to-sing-about-mental-health
Not sure if you ever read The Last Psychiatrist (this is from his secondary blog), but this one is so good I've lost track of how many people I've sent it to who both struggle with their own mental health but sense that there is something dangerous in the modern / millennial / woke mindset around mental health.
Victim good. Oppressor bad.
To be good, I must be victim. To not be victim is to be oppressor.
It's increasingly difficult *not* to see that this insidious binary model is the dominant ethical idea of our times.
Yes and among the upper middle classes a lot of it started in childhood. I have teenagers now but starting when they were in preschool, the race for the "right" diagnosis was everywhere. "My 4yr old has anxiety so I have to stay with him all day at school and he needs to bring four stuffed animals and a lego castle for comfort." "Sammy has visual processing disorder so he needs extra time on tests," "Katy just can't control her tantrums, she has ODD, it isn't her fault." My friend, who is a former preschool teacher, told me that at one point she had 20% of her class with some kind of ASD diagnosis and another 20% with ADHD.
So when you're little and your diagnosis makes you special, why not compound that as you grow?
I see this a lot with work. Maybe it's not mental health or burnout or a toxic environment or not being seen or systemic ____ism. Maybe work kinda sucks, and we should try to improve that
If we can try and pre-emptively move the discourse away from "the kids fucked everything up" that would be great. Not that Freddie is saying that, the reddit post maybe a little, and the general impulse of commenters in general to turn the comment section into a list of anecdotes.
Because really its a backlash right? We (my generation, people in their 30s now) all grew up around adults who famously were not taught how to process their feelings or do basic maintenance on their emotional processes and it was not a fun time. Probably most of those people don't meet the standard for mentally ill, but we have yet invent a set of guidelines for taking care of your mental health and expressing your emotional weaknesses that falls short of diagnosable event. So the kids who don't want to grow up like their parents bottling everything up claim perpetual diagnosable events.
I guess back in the day this is what going to Church was supposed to be for. You could talk about your problems in small-group, if things were really bad you could confess your worries to a pastor and get some guidance, some community support, some prayer. But the flipside of that was a lot of moral hypocrisy and arbitrary ostracization, plus you had to get up early on Sunday. So that's gone, now everyone is seeking communal support systems and the only way they know to ask for them is by claiming to be bi-polar, whether they are or not. I don't have a good solution to this.
There appear to be plenty of good studies proving an increase in mental health diagnosis of young people. If I remember correct it is skewed toward female and those that claim to be left of liberal.
My natural father was/is paranoid and slightly schizophrenic. It hit him in his 20s and he was homeless for 40 years because of it.
However, I have a 20-something nephew that started having psychotic episodes. In his case his parents and I are absolutely certain that his problems are at least exacerbated by his excessive cannabis consumption. Other young men I know have similar issues.
And now we have a critical theory fake scholarship mythology that rejects objective truth, science and history. And Zuckerberg wants us all to live in the Metaverse.
Seems to be that there are multiple reasons we are seeing more mental health challenges in people. Ironic that in my early computer career we talked about too much CRT time causing brain problems.
I was appalled by how often and casually the recent former Slate Dear Prudence (Ortberg) counseled people to cut off their families and loved ones over perceived failures to validate woke-identity-x.
I wonder how much the apparently increasing professional leniency as to what constitutes mental illness might contribute.
I have been formally diagnosed with autism. I am a mostly pretty normal adult who owns her own house, holds down a well-paying job, and takes care of her family/friends. My autism is confined to clumsiness, chronically missing social cues, and an intense sensitivity to certain stimuli. I worked as a nanny throughout college, and one of the boys I took care of was also autistic. His autism manifested as an inability to learn language, almost no control of fine motor skills, and mental retardation. Giving these conditions the same name just seems...wrong.
Turning it into an identity then allows people to 'steal' the agony of the more-afflicted. It's no different than a woman who's been in the US her whole life claiming oppression because little girls are sold into marriage in other countries, or a wealthy Indian immigrant claiming oppression because Africans were enslaved in the US in the past. Mental illness is crippling at its extremes, and when "I get a little nervous in crowds" and "I haven't left my house in twelve years because I'm afraid I'll get trampled" are given the same name, it invites exaggeration.
"Mental health is not your fault, but it is your responsibility" is the mantra of Marcus Parks over at the Last Podcast on the Left. Social media culture doesn't necessarily award responsibility though, instead everyone needs to pretend to be unique. In some ways the "responsibility free" approach to mental health may even be a reaction to how large the world feels these days. The only way to stand out is to be extreme.
To be all too speculative, I imagine everyone has a greater or lesser part of Bartleby the Scrivener in them, an inner voice whispering "I prefer not to." This refusal, being neither useful in living in nor changing society, is not something that can be justified, hence why Bartleby is so alien, unless of course you can replace "I prefer not to" with "I cannot," which is precisely what a (self-)diagnosis permits.
Compassion, don’t fail me now 🤞.
Losers teaching young people how to lose. Sincerely, beware, your progeny is being miseducated, they could be destroyed by this well meaning gibberish. The Gnosticism of postmodern relativism is a virus, a bug and junior is in grave danger. Maybe you are as well, maybe losing has been put in you.
“suffering itself is not a rare condition, but a universal one”
You know what these kids need is some Boethius.
I think there is also something about the culture of social justice that like, reifies and validates a world view and behaviors that are antithetical to stable mental health. Perceiving every slight as a catastrophic and phobic event representative of a hostile world, etc.
David Burns wrote the most famous and arguably best self help book on CBT, “Feeling Good”. He has a new one out called “Feeling Great”.
It’s basically the same old CBT stuff, and still written by a very goofy and uncool guy. The main new idea is that before trying to dismantle your cognitive distortions, you’re now supposed to list and think very clearly about all the ways that your distorted beliefs and symptoms are beneficial to you and reflect positive aspects of yourself. Then, you consciously choose whether and how much to leave these things behind.
I find it is a powerful technique for anyone, and likely particularly helpful for people stuck in the type of trap described in this post. Highly recommend “Feeling Great” by David Burns.
This reminds me of the recent CAP survey of LGBTQ adults that found abysmal mental health among younger people. For example:
“82 percent of Gen Z [queer] respondents reported feeling so sad that nothing could cheer them up to some degree in January 2020, compared with 64 percent of Millennials, 46 percent of Gen X, and 30 percent of Baby Boomers.”
Younger people consider themselves more enlightened on these topics, but the mentality described in the Reddit post (which fits my observations) is toxic and terrible for mental health.
They tell each other the whole world must accommodate their disorders—they can’t be expected to function at work, to adhere to social norms, etc. and anyone who disagrees is an oppressor. I really worry for them in the real world, where “likes” don’t pay the rent.
Survey source:
https://www.americanprogress.org/article/lgbtqi-members-of-generation-z-face-unique-social-and-economic-concerns/