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Freddie deBoer's avatar

I think an ancillary question is why we so often feel that our experiences need to be universal to be worth taking seriously. Being bullied sucks. I don't understand why saying that it's not a universal experience would be perceived as demeaning that experience.

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Carina's avatar

For me, the only time school remotely resembled the movies was middle school. The girls were cliquey and cruel, and there was a clear social hierarchy. But in retrospect, the nerdy girls (including me) were probably worse. Popular girls mocked the nerds for being awkward and unfashionable – but we called them bitches and sluts, and we **hated** them to an obsessive, unhealthy degree.

I thought the 30 Rock episode about Liz’s high school reunion captured this pretty well. She believed she was a victim because she was nerdy and uncool, but then it turned out that the popular girls saw Liz as a bully because she was constantly insulting them.

But again, that was middle school. In high school, everyone calmed down. We were sleepy and bored in class, content with our friend groups at lunch, and absorbed in our own activities after school. The most popular girl was a sweetheart. If the teacher split us into random groups for a project, you could count on everyone to be friendly and cooperative.

I wasn’t cool or popular, but in high school I never felt like my social status was a problem. I had my friend group, the queer & artsy kids, and we worked on the lit mag and hung out with our English teachers in peace.

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