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Randolph Carter's avatar

It is strange, it seems like the rebuttal to "no man is an island" has been "well then I will build an island of therapy around myself so I can float alone and unencumbered by the filthy fleshy needs of relationships."

Also, telling young men that they are "enough" and just need to embrace their inner selves seems like a recipe for shouting "NO, NOT LIKE THAT, STOP!!!!!" in about three years. Basically every culture tries to figure out how to get young men to sublimate their weird, horny, competitive drives into prosocial action. Telling them to go where their feelings take them seems like a bad idea (I say this having been a teenage boy).

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Carina's avatar

I love this. Today, everyone tells us not to prioritize marriage and family. You have plenty of time. Career comes first. If you get married "young" (under 30) you're missing out on mandatory fun.

But we really don't have unlimited time (especially women who want kids) so it's unhelpful to tell people dating should be their last priority. Most of us will never write Hollywood movies or save the world -- we have dumb office or service jobs, and our happiness comes from our family, friends, and kids.

In a certain demographic, the worst thing a woman can do is pass up a career opportunity "for a man" (or woman in my case). However, I quit academia to stay with my partner, and it was the best thing I ever did. If I had moved away for an academic job, I wouldn't have my wife and child. They make me much happier than any career I could have.

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