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Barney's avatar

Love this Freddie. As someone who’s dealt with a lot of death, including my own daughter, (which I don’t usually talk about online, but your piece here has opened my heart), I thank you for this. I won’t go into detail other than to say, yes. You can survive the passing of even your own kid. It’s hard & terrible. But I survive despite myself. I sometimes feel guilty about surviving. But I keep on surviving. No matter how bad I feel about not always feeling bad. (Which is different than always missing her, which I do.)

A book that helped me was called the “The Other Side Of Sadness” written by a Columbia professor who studies grief. (Name escapes me & I’m sick of google. The title is right.)

Basically the book talks about how we are all built to survive even the most horrible tragedies. And that the tendency of our culture to imply that we’re not grieving right or suffering enough, is indeed misguided. And ultimately unhealthy.

My daughter’s name was Charlotte. Typing her name tears me up. I miss her everyday. But I still experience joy with her Mom & sister & grandma. I still laugh and watch movies & play music. And I always will. Till I die myself.

It’s all anyone can do.

Thanks Freddie.

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Twerb Jebbins's avatar

It kills me that people act like a world where you just sit inside on Zoom all day and get everything delivered to your door was possible. I can't think of anything which typifies the bourgeois nature of today's liberalism more than that. It's as if many of them literally think everyone works an office job and the people making, building, and delivering everything simply don't exist. It's no wonder this attitude caught on like wildfire in Manhattan and other urban liberal enclaves. They are the poster children for this kind of thinking.

I hate even talking about COVID. Two years of arguments has been enough for three lifetimes.

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