Stephen, I'm so sorry you had to walk this path. As I explained to Freddie above I probably couldn't read it without bawling my way through but I wish you great sales and reviews and wish you never acquired the knowledge to write it.
I lost my wife of 40 years two years ago after a sudden diagnosis of pancreatic cancer, with only three weeks between symptoms appearing and calling the funeral home. The description of grief is absolutely right on. I don't think I could read the book--it would hurt too much. But thanks for the review, which was moving too.
I find my only way through grief is acknowledgement, acceptance, and settling on some sort of peace. It’s never an understanding of some greater meaning, but merely of what happened. Happiness is notwithstanding the things that clearly do not live in such domain. I’ve not heard mourning described as a sort of confusion before, but I find that fitting. Cheers, Stephen.
Freddie, I'm sure this is a wonderful book but I don't think I could read it since I'm crying just reading your review. My oldest daughter suffered massive birth and pregnancy related brain damage. She never developed beyond a newborn level and died in 1997 at age 7, eight months before my mother died of lung cancer. It was hell, and a relief. At least we were able to place her in a wonderful pediatric nursing home (an "institution", oh the horrors) and were spared the day to day grind of her care. My deepest sympathies to the author.
I recently read Yiyun Li's brutal and yet beautiful recent memoir, Things in Nature Merely Grow, which focuses on the suicides, six or so years apart, of her two sons (and only offspring) at age 16 and 19. The brothers were best friends and chose the same suicide method.
I remember my mother saying nothing could be worse than out-living your child. It's my special angst. I miss my parents. I helped them die at home. It was hardest with my mother because she had become my child and even called me Mama.
It sounds like a wonderful book. Two of my children came from China.
Thanks Freddie!!!!
(It’s Mother and Child Reunion btw…after the Paul Simon song)
Ack I'll fix
Stephen, I'm so sorry you had to walk this path. As I explained to Freddie above I probably couldn't read it without bawling my way through but I wish you great sales and reviews and wish you never acquired the knowledge to write it.
🥲
I lost my wife of 40 years two years ago after a sudden diagnosis of pancreatic cancer, with only three weeks between symptoms appearing and calling the funeral home. The description of grief is absolutely right on. I don't think I could read the book--it would hurt too much. But thanks for the review, which was moving too.
Beautiful review, thank you Freddie. Policoff's story strums chords in my own emotional resonator. I will be buying this book.
Freddie, what a beautiful review of such a devastating journey for this family.
I find my only way through grief is acknowledgement, acceptance, and settling on some sort of peace. It’s never an understanding of some greater meaning, but merely of what happened. Happiness is notwithstanding the things that clearly do not live in such domain. I’ve not heard mourning described as a sort of confusion before, but I find that fitting. Cheers, Stephen.
Freddie, I'm sure this is a wonderful book but I don't think I could read it since I'm crying just reading your review. My oldest daughter suffered massive birth and pregnancy related brain damage. She never developed beyond a newborn level and died in 1997 at age 7, eight months before my mother died of lung cancer. It was hell, and a relief. At least we were able to place her in a wonderful pediatric nursing home (an "institution", oh the horrors) and were spared the day to day grind of her care. My deepest sympathies to the author.
I recently read Yiyun Li's brutal and yet beautiful recent memoir, Things in Nature Merely Grow, which focuses on the suicides, six or so years apart, of her two sons (and only offspring) at age 16 and 19. The brothers were best friends and chose the same suicide method.
I bought this book right away, and itʻs both very well-written and not at all unpleasant to read. Somehow.
Buy the book if youʻre on the fence about it.
I remember my mother saying nothing could be worse than out-living your child. It's my special angst. I miss my parents. I helped them die at home. It was hardest with my mother because she had become my child and even called me Mama.
It sounds like a wonderful book. Two of my children came from China.
Thank you, Freddie, for once again reminding me that I have no real problems.
(At least not yet. Give it time...)
As Edgar says in King Lear: "How light and portable my pain seems now, When that which make me bend makes the King bow."